I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
