Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
