If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Randomize
