I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
