i was born a porn star she said
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
