She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Damn victory sex feels great
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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