6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Porn is love you can see.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
