dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
