dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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