so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
