I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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