I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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