so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
