For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
