And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
