Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
