Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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