I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
