How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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