remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Randomize
