you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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