Who wears a wallet chain?!
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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