he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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