Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm just crazy horny about you
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
