Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
It's just like the Real World with babies
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Enjoy the penises
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
