I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize