Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
