did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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