Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
