just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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