I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
