So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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