I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
