he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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