just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
