I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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