she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize