Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
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