So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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