Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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