Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
you inspire me to be a worse person
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize