We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
