with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize