ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
