Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
