Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize