She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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