That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
