i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
