I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
