would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
