We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize