I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
