..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
