dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
