I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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