doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
