ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
