If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
