Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
