So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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