At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We left an ass print on the piano.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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