it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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