your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
