If that was your dad, he is hot
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
