No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
