I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
